As many of you know, I’m a massive fan of Danielle LaPorte.
(For those of you aren’t familiar with Danielle, she’s a bestselling author, spiritual seeker, a member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, and all-round inspiring woman in business and in life.)
Many times over her truth bombs and teachings have sparked ‘a-ha’ moments for me, and back in February of this year I went to see her speak LIVE here in Sydney with a group of dear friends… it was AMAZING.
Which is why I was SO excited about her latest book release!
White Hot Truth:
Clarity for Keeping it Real on Your Spiritual Path, from One Seeker to Another
The book is all about being true to yourself, even when it’s difficult. It’s about embracing self-improvement and learning from others, but never forgetting your own personal power.
As part of her launch, Danielle has invited people to share their own ‘white hot truth’ stories. So today I’m here in your inbox sharing mine… and I would love to know what you think!
MY ‘WHITE HOT TRUTH’:
Sometimes I ask my clients to leave my programs.
- Sometimes these clients have paid a 5 figure investment to work with me.
- Sometimes they are the most delightful and friendly people.
- But I give their money back.
The reason is, after naturally erring on the side of over-giving — and being left utterly drained, exhausted and depleted as a result over the years — I have learned to be incredibly strict (and TRUTHFUL) about what “works for me”.
If something doesn’t work for me in a business partnership, then it has to become a NO.
- Client not taking ownership for their results? Not for me.
- Clients not showing up to coaching calls? Not for me.
- All talk, no action? Not for me.
- Skipping payments? Not for me.
This doesn’t make the behaviours of these people wrong — goodness, in some cases it’s possibly my own tendencies that need “work” here to prevent these happening in the first place — but in the present moment, all I can do is honour my own TRUTH.
So how do I decide if something”‘works for me” in a coaching relationship or business partnership?
By the way it makes me FEEL.
Because the TRUTH is, that everything in our life either drains us or fuels us. So if something is not enJOYable, or filling my energy up — then it is draining it. And I choose to not have that in my life.
In her book ‘White Hot Truth’ Danielle says that “boundaries are fences that support your freedom,” and I couldn’t agree more.
I’ve learned to observe that the draining feels “yuck” (for want of a more eloquent word!). And more often than not, once started, does not stop on its own accord.
It’s a choice.
Not always an easy one, I grant you. And not one I live by every-single day and time either — I’m only human after all — but something I have learned and that is a game changer for me.
When I first started learning about ‘boundaries,’ my fear was that I would come across as entitled or arrogant.
It felt deeply uncomfortable to say a firm ‘no’ to things, and I was constantly saying ‘yes’ to everything instead — with no consideration of whether it actually ‘worked for me.’
What I’ve learned as I’ve practice building healthy boundaries — because it does take some practice — is that my body knows that answer already and will never lie.
The courage and strength comes in being willing enough to listen, and ACT on that.
Since learning to KNOW and tap into this truth for myself in this way, then setting healthy boundaries now comes across with grace, clarity and certainty. (Well most of the time anyway ;-)
Because my body just knows... and I have the courage and confidence to listen and act on that body wisdom.
Now I say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no.
- Because I love my ‘self’ — that’s why.
- Because I know that what I offer is of immense value.
- Because I’ve been burnt out once before, and don’t ever plan on going there again.
And my graceful, clear, unapologetic ‘no’ is generally received very well from the other party.
In fact, 9 times out of 10 (truly) when I have asked a client to leave my program and explain why, it has actually turned the situation around — often that person becomes my biggest raving fan — because they experienced TRUTH in our communication.
So in the spirit of creating healthy boundaries — where in your life or business could you get honest about ‘this does not work for me?'
And how could putting a boundary in place be a healing act for all?
Thank you so much for letting me share with you today ...
And now I would love for YOU to share with me! ;)
Did anything I wrote about resonate with you?
If yes, please do me a big favour and click here to let me know your thoughts.
I would really love to hear! :)